It can wait.
next time someone is mean to you just tell em this
RIP to all those who didn’t make it to 2014. And to those that did; I’m so, so proud of you.
I didn’t even try to scroll past this
Nothing ever ends poetically. It ends and we turn it into poetry. All that blood was never once beautiful. It was just red.
Your mental health is my priority. (via thexpotent)
This is so fucking perfect
Dear future child
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But that five years later
When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were why I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine.
I don’t know when it happened, or why it
happened. You just stopped. There were
no more phone calls in the middle of the
night when you couldn’t sleep, no more
texts that read, “I miss you.” The only time
you said I was beautiful, was when I asked
if I was. It’s not that I needed your validation,
I just missed hearing it. When you answered
the phone your voice sounded dull, the excuses
were, “I’m tired.” “I don’t feel well.” I never
knew the right words to say until after the
conversation ended, my talking just felt like
crunching leaves under your feet. You’d walk
over me subconsciously, I felt like I was the
gum on the bottom of your shoe. You’d get
rid of me faster than you’d let me stay.
I always held on a little too tight, a little too
long, I guess I was just waiting for the favor
to be returned. But your arms became
cemented to your sides, like walls around
your soul. I became the vines growing up
the bricks, trying to be tall enough to get a
peek of what’s behind them. I never was
tall enough, I never was good enough.
Soon enough the I love you’s just slipped
your mind, you forgot. I stopped noticing
how long it took you to reply, it became
our new normal. The nights we went without
talking, the mornings that went without the
good, the days we talked for five minutes, it
was all normal. You stopped. So, I’ll stop.
Or at least, I’ll try..
This is very hard for me at this moment in my life to express my heart/mind to the world, but I will say these last few months have been the worst months of my life. I was dating someone (J$tash) that abused me verbally ,emotionally and physically throughout the end duration of our relationship. Monday morning on September 15th 2014 my life was forever, changed. A person I thought and believed I could trust, whom I gave my love/time/energy to brutally punched me in my face repeatedly with his fists while I became slowly unconscious covered in blood in his brooklyn apartment bed. After he was done he told me to not tell anyone to not tell my friends, He also started to prepare legal action to protect himself in case I pressed charges against him. He cried and became unstable within his emotions and was apologetic towards his actions, but would continue to say i did this to myself.
He then boarded a flight to Japan a few hours after and has been sending me text messages claiming he will destroy me even more than he already did. He said he will ruin my life! I got brutally beaten for confronting him on infidelity which caused him to become violent in an instant.
Do not interpret this as a cry for help this is honestly a decision to speak up against domestic violence for those who cant due to the manipulative acts our abusers inflict on us to never speak up and for those who didn’t survive because of brutal domestic violence.
I will not allow myself to sit in the shadows of darkness and disrespect myself for not taking a stand.
I am speaking out for all my women!
Be brave this is what bravery looks like.
Abuser: Justin Joseph / J$tash
I knew it was something about him that I wouldn’t like.. So sad.